My Safe Haven
I really have no idea where to start from and how to begin. I’ve been lost for a very long time and now it seems like, feeling of being lost is growing in me. At first it was difficult I wanted someone to come pull me out I still do but I’m afraid of being happy, what if I am happy again and then something bad happens and I’m back to where I began. The idea of being happy feels scary. I don’t know if I will ever be ready. I’m too afraid to surrender and let go of the control. I feel pain beyond I can explain even when I try to talk about it or share to anybody I can’t. I told myself its ok and I will grow past it, every day feels like a decade and if I come to see this it’s been years that I have been in this. Every morning I pick myself up later at night to collapse and drown myself in this sea of loneliness. I did a lot of things to come out of it, really stupid things, meet people and put up with their shit and got myself into things I didn’t even needed and especially when
